African American Quote of the Week.....

Depression and grief are hatred turned on the self. 
William Grier, 1926-
Physician

Okay everybody! When I read that statement, I had a hard time applying that mentality to every situation. For instance, if I am broke, and have no gas money; well, am I mad at myself, or at the situation?  For me personally, it would depend on how I became broke. If I spent my last $10.00 on donuts and eyeshadow, then yes, I am very mad at myself for spending so unwisely. However, if I am broke because I have no job and am going through a divorce....well, not so sure I am going to be mad at myself,; I am more likely to be very angry at the situation.

But hey, that's just my view.....Give me yours!

Paved Roads To Hell..........

 I was reminded about a statement a few days ago when I said to a friend..."Sometimes we really do have good intentions, but sometimes we are unable to follow through with those intentions-whatever the reasons may be. It may be that we took on something that we later realized was way more than we anticipated, or because we simply decided we no longer wanted to do a thing. Whatever the case, that doesn't mean that your good intentions were not there in the beginning." So my friend then stated to me, "Yep, which sounds very much like that old saying....The Best Intentions Are Marked With Paved Roads To Hell!". Wow! How many times have we heard quotes and thought nothing of them, until that one day when we heard that quote and realize the enormity of the quote. Maybe something you are going through in your life has made a particular quote, an epiphany at that point. I don't know, we hear what we want to hear sometimes, right? I know that is true for me, but not on purpose, as many of my friends and family may think!

Anyway, this quote made a dramatic impact on my decision making process. It made me look at some of the choices I have made, and evaluate them-realistically, not lie to myself about them. It made me look at other people's decisions and now I am able to forgive them for making those decisions.

Sometime you have to look at your "intentions" and seriously consider if your good intented decisions are marked with paved roads to hell! 

Relationships, Cultures and You...

January 2012

There have been, and will always be different opinions regarding "how and what" a relationship should entail. I have been to a few relationship forums, and have found them to be useful in finding out the views of both women and men.

What those forums did not include is relationships from a cultural prospective. We all think that our way of living is the correct way. Come on now, really we all do-culturally speaking anyway. The Oriental culture thinks other cultures are not strict enough on the kids. The Middle-Eastern culture thinks other cultures lack depth. The South Asian culture thinks that everything they do is correct. The American culture thinks everything everyone does is incorrect.

I think all cultures have a lot to offer. There are also a lot of traditions in all cultures that can be looked upon as not so beneficial to the masses. We all have changes to make in our lifestyles as a culture, and as individuals.

Think about stereotypes. While they do have some truth to them, they are mindsets of a particular mass of people, not an individual. How many wonderful embellishments (learning a new language, a new food, a new clothing type, a new activity-a new friend) to your life could be added, and improved if you didn’t automatically place a stereotype on a person that you see, or meet.

I look at my own mentality, my own self- awareness and I love being so open minded about people and cultures. But I also know that there are a lot of areas, in my outlook, attitude and my approach, that could use an overhaul. 

With that being said, I think I will take a month long challenge to try to improve on the qualities that I think are important for healthy relationships (any kind of relationship), and that always starts with self.

Actively looking at your thought process, and deciding to make a change, is the first step. Are you guys up for the challenge? What ideas do you have about your starting point?